The Immortal Chronicles: Chaos
by Riyoushi-chan
Summary: When the Irken Empire falls to an unknown enemy around the same time a certain human joins their side, Zim, Dib, and Tak stumble upon a clan of a secret race that has been living on Earth for years that is willing to help. OC's galore.
1. Cast Out

(Note: I will be introducing some characters in this. Also, grab some snacks. It's gonna be a long one.)

Chapter one: Cast out

Lab assistant: Dib, your father no longer wants you. You need to pack up all of the things you want and leave before tomorrow morning.

Dib couldn't believe his ears. His own father was putting him out on the street. _I guess it's okay, _he thought sullenly. _After all, he didn't make me the normal way. _He reached under his shirt and rubbed where his navel should have been, a sign that he hadn't started his life inside a woman's belly. He looked around his room and sighed. What really stung is that his father didn't come and say it himself, he'd sent a lab assistant instead.

In the end, he had taken a backpack, a duffel bag, and a suitcase full of stuff. He had jumped out the window too. He didn't care that much anymore. He took off down the road, pacing himself so he didn't run out of breath before he reached his destination. He ran for about an hour before he turned the corner and saw it: a green house with a purple roof and a large satellite dish on top, nestled among apartment buildings. His stomach flopped about like a fish out of water as he slowly walked towards it. His hand shook as he reached for the doorbell. He stopped and considered his options. All of them stank, but this one seemed the best. He took a deep breath and pushed the button.

(sorry it's a little short. Please r+r)


	2. Betrayal

Chapter two: Betrayal

Zim: GIR! I thought I told you not to play with the doorbell!

Gir:I DIDN'T PRESS IT! DIB'S PLAYING WITH IT!

Zim: Dib? Computer, show me the security feeds.

A screen on the end of a pole branched down from the ceiling. It showed images from all over and around the house.

Zim: Hmm. Computer, show me the feed for the front lawn.

Computer: Processing.

The screen filled with static for a second, then showed the front lawn. Sure enough, Dib was standing at the door, looking at his toes with tear filled eyes. "Gir!" The robot flew down into the base, wearing his disguise.

Gir: WHADDA YA WANT FROM ME, YA FREAK?

Zim: I'm going to ignore that outburst. I was going to tell you to put on your disguise, but it seems that you already have. Go see what Dib wants.

Gir: Okie Dokie!

Gir flew up to the house section of the base and opened the door.

Dib: Oh. Hey Gir. I need to talk to Zim.

Gir: O.K.!

Gir let Dib into the house.

Dib: Zim? Hey, Zim! I know you're here! Well, at least I think I do. You might be out for all I know. But-

Zim: So, Dib. You need to talk to me, as in capture me, autopsy me, preserve my body, and put it on display?

Dib: Umm, no. I wanted to show you this.

He turned around to face Zim, who had dropped from the ceiling on his spider legs. He pulled a disk from his backpack.

Dib: This is all the data I've collected on you since I've known you were coming.

He slipped the disk into an envelope, took a lighter from his pocket, and burned it. Soon it was nothing but a pile of ashes.

Dib: There, now not even the most high-tech computer can read it.

Gir jumped up from the couch and ate the ashes.

Gir: YUMMY! Master, that tastes like all the data Dib collected on you and an envelope!

Zim: Oh, I see. You're letting me take over Earth. VICTORY FOR ZIM!

Dib: No, Zim. I want...

He took a few deep breaths.

Dib: To help you in your conquest.

Zim: Oh... why would you want to do that?

Dib: BECAUSE MY OWN FATHER HAS THROWN ME OUT!

He sank to the floor in a sobbing heap.

Zim: Come, Dib. We have much to do if you're to become an Invader.

(please r+r)


	3. Invader

Chapter three: Invader

Tallest Purple: Many thanks again to Zim for being so far away!

The Irken Empire had just conquered another planet.

Tallest Purple: Hey, looks like we're getting a transmission from him.

Tallest Red: Let's see what "amazing" things to say.

A large screen flicked on to show Zim's face.

Zim: Hello, my Tallest. Today, I have done the remarkable.

Tallest Purple: And what have you done that is so remarkable, Zim?

Zim: I have gotten the Dib to side with me in my conquest! Dib, come and introduce yourself to the Tallest!

Dib: Hello, Tallest!

Zim: Dib, tell them the story of how you came to betray your own kind.

Dib: Well, here goes...

After a few moments...

Dib: And that's why I want to destroy all of mankind!

Everyone except for Zim and Dib are crying.

Zim: Good, Dib. Now go upstairs while we determine your fate.

Dib went up one of the elevator shafts.

Zim: Now, to business.

Purple: IT'S JUST TOO SAD!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!

He ran off crying, as well as a few other Irkens.

Red: *sniff sniff* Okay, we'll give him a chance to help you as an Invader. But first, we need to make sure he won't betray us.

Zim: How are we gonna do that?

Table Drone: I know! How about we give him a Pak?

Red: That's a great idea!

Gir: But if the humans see Dib with a Pak thingy, won't the humans be suspicious?

Zim: A Pak can easily be disguised as a backpack. Now, this Pak will be specially made to inject poison into his veins if he betrays us!

Red: WHAT IS THAT!?

He had turned around to admire the newly conquered planet when it suddenly exploded (a/n: I like explosions...) , revealing a large armada of an unknown species of alien.

Random Irken: My Tallest! We are not so sure what this unknown armada can do, so it may be best to get you off the ship.

Red: Right. Zim, I'm sending the Pak and all the equipment necessary to put it on through a teleporter and uhhh... I'll call you back later bye!

The transmission ended abruptly. Moments later, a large pink laser hit the satellite dish on the roof.

Computer: Package received from the Massive.

Moments later, Zim had all the equipment set up.

Zim: Dib! Get down here!

Dib appeared from an elevator shaft.

Dib: Yeah, Zim?

Zim: You are about to receive a Pak, which will identify you as an Invader. But first, please take off your coat and shirt, then lay on your belly on that table.

Dib stripped both off in a matter of seconds, revealing his smooth belly and a gold pendant that looked like a small, teardrop shaped cage filled with tiny stones. This didn't bother Zim much, as most Irkens were born the same way Dib was, and most humans wore jewelery. Dib stretched out on the table and rested his chin on his hands.

Zim: This is going to be a little painful. Most Irkens receive their Paks when they are born, so that it is usually mistaken for the pain of birth. What will happen is-

Dib: Enough talk already! Put it on before I have second thoughts!

Zim: GIR! STAY OUT OF THIS ROOM!

Gir: YES SIR!

Zim turned and pressed a button. The machinery above Dib's body roared to life. A long, robotic arm reached down and zapped Dib in the spot where the Pak would be, causing him to yelp loudly. Two more reached down and attached the Pak.

Zim: Oh, and Dib, one more thing.

Dib: Yeah, Zim?

Zim: That Pak has been programmed to inject poison into your veins if you betray us. Congratulations Dib, you are now an Invader.

Dib: Okay...

He fainted.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Red stared, terrified, at two of the aliens that had boarded the Massive approached him, holding many, rattling shackles. They were at least ten feet tall, and had bright yellow eyes with black slits that served them as pupils, and squirming tentacles that sprouted from their heads. Their skin was tan with hints of green, perfect camouflage for a creature that would live in the jungle. They also held long spears, and wore iron armor. A bunch of control Irkens surrounded him, ready to defend him. One turned to the table drone beside him.

Control Irken (whispering): On the count of three, throw off the table and get him out of here.

Table drone (whispering): OK.

The control Irken turned back to face the enemy.

Control Irken: One... two … THREE!

Table drone: YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

He threw the table at the enemy, whatever they were, and hit one of them in the face. Then he grabbed Red's hand and ran towards the elevator shaft, smacking the button to go down. Red watched as the control Irkens dogpiled the two aliens. Many flew out of it, unconscious and shackled. Then the elevator arrived and the table drone dragged him in and tried to press the button for the escape bay, but he was too short, so Red did it for him. The doors snapped shut and the elevator started it's decent. Then it stopped to let three more Irkens in, who immediately slammed the doors closed. The elevator lurched to life once more. Red took the opportunity to collect his thoughts.

He looked at his companions. There were a female, a male, and one that was hard to tell. The unidentifiable one was slightly short and had large, yellow eyes which meant that they were an Assassin. They wore a the standard Irken uniform, only with arm guards made out of leather with metal ribs and a belt with an assortment of weapons. Their build was stocky and well muscled, and their antennae held a slight curl to them. Their mouth held a scowl to it, and they were spattered with blood. They noticed he was looking at them, and wiped their claw on the table drone before offering it to him.

Assassin: Assassin Buriram, Sir. Everyone calls me Buri for short. My friend is Navigator Hex.

He took her claw and shook it.

Hex's eyes were large, blue ovals. Her antennae curled elegantly, and she held a small silver cylinder in her left claw, and her right was balled into a fist. She was slightly attractive, in the Irken sense.

Hex: I never wanted to be a Navigator. I wanted to be an Invader. But nooo, apparently I'm very good with stupid maps.

Red was confused. Navigators had very important jobs. They set courses and plotted coordinates.

Red: Is she normally like this?

Buri's scowl disappeared. A good conversation always lifted her mood.

Buri: Nah, she's just upset because if she was trained in combat, then she'd be able to help.

Red: Hey, do you know what those things were?

Buri: Nope.

The male was shorter than Buri. Something about him seemed familiar, something about slaughtering rat people...

Red: Invader Skoodge? You're supposed to be dead!

Skoodge: I don't know how I keep cheating death, either.

*ding*

Table drone: We're here!

He peeked his head out and looked both ways, then ran across the room to an escape pod, then motioned for the others to follow. They slunk across, not making even the tiniest noise. As soon as they got there, the door slipped open. They got in.

Computer: Preparing for take off... fasten your seat belts.

???: They're getting away! After them!

Two aliens ran at them at full speed.

Computer: NEVER MIND LET'S GO!

The door slammed shut and loud explosions were heard, the pod jerked violently, and they quickly drifted away from the Massive. Hex turned and jammed the silver cylinder in a slot.

Red: What's that?

Hex: Coordinates for Earth. We're going there. If my calculations are correct, if we use hyperspace, we'll make it in about six hours.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Gaz looked up from playing _Vampire Piggy Slayer._ Where was Dib? She hadn't heard him in a few hours. That was odd. No, that was bad. If Dib was in serious trouble, or got killed, she would be in major trouble with the Warlady. She decided to do a mind reading spell on her father to find out. She sneaked into the kitchen, where he was, and hid behind the fridge. She concentrated hard. After a few seconds, she heard the whisper of her father's thoughts. _Dib will never amount to anything. He keeps chasing those superstitions. I'm glad to be rid of him._

Gaz (barely audible whispering): Glad to be rid of him?

She probed further into his mind. The worst he would feel was a minor headache. She found everything she needed to know quite quickly. _That mortal, s_he thought. _He's wreaking my mission! _She slunk into Dib's room and took one of the blankets off of his bed, and ripped off a piece. _I'll use this to track him. But for now, I'll rest._

Sometimes it was hard being a vampiress.

(a/n : You're probably all thinking TWILIGHT FREAK!!! Well, I can like vampires without being obsessed with Twilight. OK? OK.)

Gir: Hee hee! Twilight is a funny word. So are judge, work, lipid, awkward, and weird.

(Shut up, Gir. Please r+r)

Gir: YES MA'AM!

(NOT YOU!)

Gir: Sorry.

What were those things on the Massive? Will we find out the table drone's name so we won't have to refer to him as "table drone" the whole story? Why was Gir talking to the author? Why does Hex want to go to Earth? Why would Gaz get in trouble if Dib gets hurt or killed? Why am I asking you all these questions? After all, I'm the one writing this thing.


	4. Arrival

Chapter four: Arrival

(Disclaimer: I don't own most of what I'm writing about. Except for the snake.

Flames will be printed out and used to pick up dog dookie.

If you feel that the rating is too low, go ahead and tell me.)

Zim: Dib, wake up.

Dib sat up slowly and looked around. He was in a dome shaped room, laying on a bed. His things were piled near it. Zim was hanging over him on his spider limbs.

Dib: Where are we?

Zim: We're in a portion of my base that I constructed for you.

Dib: Oh um... thanks.

Zim: It was nothing, really. All I had to do is press a few buttons.

Dib: Oh.

He moved to get up out of the bed, but Zim stopped him.

Zim: Try to get out of bed using your spider limbs.

Dib: How do I do that?

Zim: Just think about doing it.

Dib thought hard about spider limbs erupting from the Pak. Then he shot upward suddenly and his head hit Zim in the chest.

Zim: Oof! Anyway, I was going to take the Voot Cruiser out to kidnap a human.

Dib: Why?

Zim: Oh, you want to be experimented on?

Dib: No, not really.

Zim: Okay then. I'll be leaving in about an hour. If you want to come, meet me in the cruiser bay. I've modified your clothes so they fit around the Pak.

Zim left the room, only to return a few moments later.

Zim: Oh, and both the base and Gir should take commands from you. Oh and if we receive any transmissions, tell me, OK?

He left. Dib waited a few minutes to see if he would return but he didn't. He then put on his shirt and trenchcoat and decided to look around the base. He wandered aimlessly for a few, then decided he would actually do something, but Gir ran up to him and shoved something down his pants.

Dib: GIR! What the hell... OH MY GOD IT'S SQUIRMING!!!!

Gir: Ha ha! Hey Minimoose, Dib's got a python in his pants!

Minimoose: Squeak!

Dib: A PYTHON? Oh, Gir, you are SO scrap metal after this!

Gir: YAY!

Dib succeeded in pulling the snake out of his pants only to find out that it was actually a harmless baby corn snake. In his panic he had forgotten that a python was a very large constrictor, and there was no way one was fitting down his pants. He looked around and saw that they were in the room where they received transmissions. The machine was beeping softly. A small screen on the control panel listed the received messages. He looked closer, but all he saw were little symbols which he guessed was the Irken written language.

Zim: Dib, what are you doing? I thought I told you to tell me if we received any transmissions.

He turned around and saw Zim standing there, glaring at him. He realized he still held the snake in his hand and showed it to him.

Dib: GIR SHOVED THIS DOWN MY PANTS!

Zim: Well that explains the yelling. GIR! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NO SNAKES IN THE BASE!

Gir: Oh, I see! We gotta get the mother*****ing snakes out of the mother******ing base!

Computer: Hey! I resent that comment!

Minimoose: Squeak!

Computer: Incoming transmission from an escape pod.

Zim: An escape pod?

Red's face appeared on the screen.

Red: Dib! Is Zim there?

Zim pushed Dib to the side.

Zim: Zim is present, oh Mighty Tallest.

Red: Good! Because we'll be going into hyperspace in a moment. We'll be at Earth in about six hours.

Dib: Why are you coming here? It's way too early to invade.

Red: Because an unknown race took the Massive, and may be planning to overthrow and enslave the whole empire. We think Earth may be the best planet to hide on.

Tak: ZIM!

Zim: Hang on one second, please?

He turned to face the female Irken and her SIR.

Zim: Grr... HOW DID YOU GET IN!?

Gir: Oh, I let them in to look at my snake.

Zim: What? WHY? WHY WOULD THEY BE INTRESTED IN A DUMB SNAKE?

Gir: MiMi thinks it's pretty... and Tak thinks it's tasty!

Gir stuffs the snake in her mouth.

Tak: WHAT THE- MMMPH!

Red: ANYWAY! We're gonna land the pod in your backyard just so you know.

Gir and Zim: We have a backyard?

Dib: Yeah, you haven't seen any satellite images of your house?

Zim: SATELLITES ARE TAKING PICTURES OF THE BASE OF ZIM? THEY MUST BE STOPPED!

Dib: Don't worry! The good thing about humans is that they barely notice anything! They probably think it's a normal house.

Zim: Oh. Now, back to the backyard... there is no door to said backyard! Come, Dib, Gir, and Minimoose! We must... make a door.

Gir: Can Tak and MiMi come too?

Zim: Hmm... only if Tak keeps the snake in her mouth until the pod arrives.

Tak: MPH MPH MPH!

Dib: Why did she mention miles per hour three times?

Gir: What's a mile?

Dib: Never mind.

They all went upstairs out of the kitchen toilet to face the wall that blocked their way to the backyard.

Zim: And now, we shall put in the door!

Computer: Processing.

Zim: Hm?

There was a bright flash of light, and then there was a door.

Zim: Oh. Well, nowww... WE EXPLORRRRE THE BACKYARD!

While he was dramatically saying that, everybody else had already opened the back joined them and walked out. The backyard was nothing special. It was a large fenced in grassy area. There were bushes and garbage cans in random areas.

Gir: BORING!!!

He went back inside and watched the Scary Monkey Show.

Dib: Looks like we have at least six hours to kill.

He went back inside, and Zim looked at Tak.

Zim: You know, I really like that snake.

Tak: MPH MPHH MPHHHHH!

FIVE AND A HALF HOURS LATER.

Zim was watching TV, Dib was taking the centers out of oreos and stacking them on a cookie, then placed another cookie on top. The end result was an oreo that was as tall as him. Gir came and ate it, then had a sugar buzz and threw rubber piggies all over the place, then went to annoy Tak and MiMi, who were playing solitaire on Dib's laptop. The snake still squirmed in Tak's mouth.

Gir: SNAKE IN YOUR MOUTH! SNAKE IN YOUR MOUTH! LOOKIN' LIKE A FOOL WITH A SNAKE IN YOUR MOUTH!

Tak: Mph.

Gir ran away from her and started to jump on the couch and sing.

Gir: Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground. With the gold in your mouth, hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground, call yourself a cool cat, lookin' like a fool rat! Walkin' downtown with your pants on the ground.

Gir started to break dance.

Gir:Get it up, hey! Get your pants off the ground. Lookin' like a fool. Walkin' talkin' with your pants on the ground. Get it up, hey! Get your pants off the ground. Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground. With the gold in your mouth, hat turned sideways pants hit the ground, call yourself a cool cat, lookin' like a fool rat! Walkin' downtown with your pants on the ground.

(sorry. I couldn't resist)

Tak: Mmmph.

Minimoose: Squeak.

Dib: Hey Gir, do you take requests?

Gir: Only from piggies!

Zim: GIR! Stop singing for the piggies! The pod will be landing any second!

Gir: Aww, the piggies wanna hear Thriller.

Zim: What is this "Thriller" you speak of?

Dib: You're kidding right? Thriller was the biggest hit in all of human history. Geez, I'd expect even YOU to know that.

Gir: I'll show you later, kay, master?

Computer: Pod entering atmosphere. Ten minutes until landing.

Everyone but Tak: FINALLY!

Tak: MMPPHHH!

They all tried to go out the door at the same time but got stuck, then ripped the door frame out of the wall.

Zim: Gir, that was your fault. You're bad.

Dib looked up and saw what looked to be a meteor heading for the backyard.

Dib: Umm, guys? I'm going back inside.

Zim: Why?

Gir: It's time for the Scary Monkey Show again?

Dib: No, there's a meteor heading straight for us.

Gir: Ooooh, shiny...

Tak: MMMPPPHHH!!!! GAACCKK! Blargghh... I feel sick.

The snake had slithered a bit to close to her throat and she accidently swallowed it.

Zim: By the looks of it, that "meteor" is the pod... TAK! WHERE IS THE SNAKE?

Tak: Snake... in... squeebily spooch...

Zim: EWW, YOU ATE IT?

Tak: Not... on... purpose...

Gir: BIG SHINY ABOUT TO HIT US! YAAAY!

Tak: I need to puke...

She ran over to a garbage can and started to gag. The "meteor" stopped twenty feet above the backyard and stopped flaming, revealing what it truly was, a purple, egg shaped spaceship. Zim took two glow sticks out of his Pak and waved them like one of those people at the airports. The spaceship slowly lowered down into the center of the yard. When it landed, Red stepped out, held his breath for a few seconds, and exhaled, his Pak having helped him adjust to oxygen. Dib was amazed, Gir was confused. The other occupants walked out and did the same routine as Red. Gir dashed into the escape pod, then ran out and poked the table drone who was still hunched over as if he still carried the table on his head.

Gir: Hey, where's my pizza?

Table drone: Pizza?

Gir: Aren't you the pizza guy?

Table drone: No, I'm Sid the table drone.

*doorbell*

Gir: PIZZA!

He ran in through the hole in the wall, and came back outside in his disguise and a pizza box.

Dib: We might as well go back inside. There's not much to do out here.

?: Not so fast, Dib.

The voice came from the shadows in a corner of the yard.

Gir: Shadow person! I must defeat them with PIZZA!

He threw a slice of pizza at the corner. However, there was no SPLAT as if the pizza had hit the wall. Gaz stepped out of the shadows, holding a shred of fabric in one hand and the slice of pizza in the other. Gir threw more pizza at her and she dodged it all easily.

Gaz: Dib is coming with me. Now.

Dib: What? NO!

Gaz: Dib, I don't have a lot of time to explain. The more we speak, the more vulnerable you become.

Dib: I'm vulnerable? To what?

Gaz: Come with me, bring your little friends with you if you want, but only two. I'm a vampiress, not a babysitter.

Dib: Wait, you're a vampiress? That can't be! You eat food!

Gaz: How much have you seen me eat in the past few months?

Dib: Not a lot... wait, only the past few months?

Gaz: Shut your stupid mouth! We can talk later once we get to where I want you to go.

Eventually, Dib chose Zim and Tak to go with him. They walked out of the cul-de-sac and into the night.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

His name was Lucian had almost no friends because he was home-schooled. He wore a faded gray tee shirt, a black hoodie, and a pair of jeans. He had corn silk blonde hair streaked with black to help hide his antenne. His skin was green, his eyes blue, and he was four feet, three inches tall, an embarrasing height for a sixteen year old, the same age his mother was when she was abducted by aliens who had implanted her with an embryo that contained her DNA and an alien father's. Like her, he had type one diabetes.

He sat on his roof top, gazing through his binoculars at where he was _sure _that giant fireball had hit. Yet there was no smoke whatsoever. _That can't be, _he thought, _unless..._ He decided to go investigate. He climbed down the tree that he used to get on and off his roof, then hopped on his bicycle and sped down the streets. He was pretty sure he knew where it had landed, near an apartment complex.

When he turned the corner, he stopped. What was a house doing in an apartment complex? That was pretty weird. He leaned his bike up against the nearby fence and went behind the apartment buildings until he reached the fence that separated him and the house's backyard. He jumped and grabbed the top, then pulled himself up so that he balanced perfectly on top. He almost fell when he saw the spaceship in the middle of the yard. Then curiosity got the better of him and he jumped down and approached it. Then his watch beeped, telling him it was about time he checked his blood glucose. He reached into his pocket for his spring loaded lancer, his box of test strips, and his meter. Suddenly, he was forced to his knees, a blade pressed to his throat.

??: Don't move anywhere, human.

Lucian: Please let me go. I need to check my blood glucose.

The blade went away, and a short alien walked in front of him. He carried on testing his blood. The meter beeped, the display read **120**. That was too low. He took a bag of gummy bears out of his pocket and crammed a few in his mouth. The alien looked at him sideways.

??:You're a Seab, aren't you?

(Yes, I know, I let my silly side out a bit in this one. Please r+r anyway.)


	5. Bloodfire

(Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, although that's pretty obvious due to the fact that this is a fan fiction.

All flames will be printed out and used to clean up dog dookie and random spills around the house- what, you didn't know I printed flames out on paper towels?

If you feel the rating is too low, go ahead and tell me. Remember, THERE WILL BE BLOOD. I repeat, THERE WILL BE BLOOD.)

Chapter five: Bloodfire

The moon and street lights cast an eerie glow over the buildings and the four small figures. They were passing through the bad side of town. Gang members watched their every move. They turned a corner and saw a little girl with a big dog. The dog was black with white feet and had pointy ears that were white at the tips and brown eyes. Its tail was also tipped with white. It looked more like a wolf than a dog. The girl had pale wavy hair that went down to her shoulders, skin that was almost white, and periwinkle eyes. She wore a pale blue dress with a matching bow in her hair. She looked to be about seven, and seemed to slightly glow. Gaz calmly walked up to her and she turned, smiling.

Girl: Hi Gaz.

Gaz: Hi Luna. Hi Batty. Guys, I'd like you to meet Luna and her guardian, Batty. Luna, this is my brother, Dib, and his friends, Zim and Tak.

Luna shook hands with each, and Batty sat and offered a paw to Dib. He took it and shook it. She sniffed his hand for a bit, then licked it.

Luna: She likes it if you scratch her ears, but we don't have much time to pet her. I wanna get out of here before we get jumped.

Tak: I agree. This place scares me.

A car pulled up to the curb, and the window rolled down. A boy with black, combed-over hair, stuck his head out.

Boy: Luna, you shouldn't be out here. Even with Batty, you could still get hurt. Mom's worried about you.

Luna: Claw, we were just leaving.

Claw: Just get in.

Luna opened the door and climbed into the back seat (It was a seven seater) with little difficulty, Batty close on her heels. Gaz followed them and beckoned to the others. They climbed in too, and Batty moved to the center row and put her head on Dib's lap.

Luna: Aww, she likes you.

The car rolled into motion. Soon they were on the highway, doing about 90. There was barely anyone else on the road. Dib checked the time on the dashboard clock, it said **11:38 PM**. _No wonder I feel so tired. _He felt his eyelids drooping, and let his head lean back. Zim, who was next to him in the center row, watched his eyes close slowly. Irkens only needed two hours of sleep as opposed to eight, but he was starting to feel the need for rest as well. Soon, he was sleeping too.

He awoke when the car pulled up to a mall. Luna helped him out of the seat and onto the asphalt. The windows on the mall were boarded over. This didn't seem to faze Claw, because he walked right up to the door and pulled it, and it opened. The small group walked inside. Luna and Claw stopped, then let dragon-like wings unfold. Luna's wings were about six feet across, and were pearly white. Claw's were about fourteen feet across, and were black. They both had scaly tails that reached the floor. Zim and Tak gawked at them, but Dib was more interested in the yeti that was sitting in the food court. He started to go there, but someone grabbed his collar. It was a girl with two long black braids that were bleached at the end. She looked to be about his age, and wore a gray and black v-neck sweater and blue jeans. Her eyes were brown. Dib stared at her for a few seconds, then realized he was blushing.

Dib: Oh, umm... hi.

Girl: You shouldn't stray away. You could get lost, and someone could eat you.

Dib: Um... yeah, I knew that.

Girl: You must like danger then, Dib. Come on, we need to get back to the group.

They went back to the group, and Dib noticed Batty wasn't there. They moved on until they reached a fountain. There was a large obelisk in the middle that water ran down. It was encrusted with murals made of gemstones. Claw and Luna jumped in and started searching for something, while the girl and Gaz looked on the outside rim. Suddenly, the obelisk sunk downward, and all the water drained out. Then the bottom of the pool started sinking until there was nothing but a pit of darkness.

Luna: You think he will come?

Claw: I dunno. He hasn't let mortals in since the whole "Montuak Monster" incident.

Dib: You mean that thing that washed up near the Montuak business district in New York? I thought they said that was a dog.

Girl: Werewolf pup. A mortal took it out of the den. We don't usually share the fact that it came from our clan.

Gaz: Enough talk already. Let's just get this done with.

She grabbed Dib by the arm and threw him off the edge. Then she grabbed Zim and Tak by the collar and tossed them off, and jumped after them. Luna, Claw and the girl followed.

Tak: I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE!

Zim: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dib: DON'T THESE PAKS HAVE JETS OR SOMETHING???!!!!

Zim: DIB! GET OVER HERE AND LET ME USE YOUR TRENCHCOAT AS A PARACHUTE!

All three: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Girl: OHHHHH, SAAAAAMMYYYYYY!!!

Suddenly, a gust of upward wind blew against them. It slowed them down until they landed softly on the bottom.

Tak: Whoa.

Zim: Dib, what was that wind? Some sort of human blowing thingy?

Dib: No, I think it might have been magic.

Gaz: It's a wind spirit. His name is Sammy.

Claw: Zim, your eyes are... strange.

Zim: Hm?

He reached up and rubbed the top of his head. Instead of his toupee, he felt his antennae.

Zim: Shit!

Dib: Zim! It isn't good to say that word around children!

Luna: It's OK. I hear those types of words everyday. Come on, it's time you met my parents.

They were led down a few tunnels. The walls were etched with runes and pictures. They showed images of great moments of Earth's history. Finally they reached a giant door that had a fire that dripped blood. Luna pushed it open and let them in. In the room there was two thrones. A man and a woman sat in them. They both had wings and tails. The man was as pale as Luna. His eyes were pure white, with no pupils. He wore a plain white shirt, and faded blue jeans with many bleach stains. His wings were pale gray. The woman's wavy hair was fiery red, her eyes were amethyst purple. She wore a purple dress that went down to her knees, and a black cloak. Her wings and tail were red. She was drinking a dark red fluid. She had plain leather boots and a belt that a sword hung from. They both appeared to be in their twenties.

A woman, also in her twenties and a brown, unbuttoned flannel shirt with a white tee shirt stood up. She had russet brown hair, and the slight swell of her belly revealed she was going to be a mother. She cleared her throat.

Mother-to-be: Batty, you let Luna stay out too long. Rage is extremely upset.

Girl: Sorry., Diane. Gaz said she'd be back soon, but it took her an hour.

Gaz: Oh shut up! The mortals slowed me down.

Dib: Wait a minute. SHE'S Batty?

Batty: Yup.

Diane: Batty, I think you should apologize to Rage for keeping her youngest daughter out so long. You know what happened last time.

Batty walked up to the thrones and kneeled until her head touched the floor.

Batty: Please forgive me, my Warlady. I didn't mean to keep her out so long, but you know, the mortals...

Rage poked the top of Batty's head with her tail.

Rage: Oh, stop groveling. This time, you have a verifiable excuse. Move out of the way so we can introduce ourselves to the mortals.

Batty crawled away, and Gaz walked up next with Dib, Zim, and Tak in tow.

Rage: Good evening. I am Roslyn Bloodfire, and this is my mate, Zinfandel Bloodfire. We are the leaders of the Bloodfire Clan, the only clan to accept any immortal, a creature that lives forever unless slain. However, my main concern right now is you, Dib.

Dib: Me?

Rage: Yes, you. At exactly 8:12 P.M., December 12, 2012, the entire immortal race will launch an attack on the humans, wiping most of them off the planet. The fate of the success of that attack rests on your hands, Dib. If you become an immortal, the humans will fall. If you remain mortal, however, then we will fail.

??: Please, nephew, join us, and be free of the burden of death.

Dib: It can't be...

A man stepped into the room. He had black hair that was scythe-shaped like Dib's, and wore pure black clothes.

Dib: Uncle Darius? But you're supposed to be dead!

He ran to him and hugged him.

Darius: Just a cover story. I couldn't let the mortals catch on to me. I see you still have my gift.

He held Dib's pendant in his hand.

Darius: It's full of moonstone, the stone that protects its wearer from any magic, including their own.

Dib: Wait, I'm magic?

Darius: Not unless you join us.

Zim: Well, I'm sure joining. What do I need to do?

Zinfandel: What the hell are you aliens here for, anyway?

Zim: Umm... well, we... umm...

Zinfandel: Well?

Zim: Umm... the government thingy... kinda got overthrown, and umm...

Zinfandel: You're not looking at me, are you? Look at me while you address me!

It was true. Zim was looking at his toes instead of the Warlord. He looked up at his eyes and shuddered.

Zim: What's wrong with your eyes?

Zinfandel: Oh, you've got a lot of nerve, alien. You don't answer any of my questions, then you act as if you can't tell I'm freaking _blind. _

He rose from his throne and grabbed for Zim, but missed and tripped over the short alien. Rage rose from her throne and grabbed his collar.

Zinfandel: Unhand me, short fiend!

Rage: Now, is that anyway to talk to your mate? I think you should go to your bedchambers and cool off a bit, or else I'll make you much more hot.

Zinfandel: Yes, I think I should.

He headed to the door, his tail in front of him to feel for obstacles. After he left, Rage sighed.

Rage: You know, he claims to be blind, yet he acts like he isn't. Please continue with what you were saying. It sounded interesting.

Zim: Oh umm... We were citizens of a powerful empire... but it was overthrown by a powerful, unknown enemy. One of our leaders escaped with a few others of our kind, the Irkens, but we don't know if the other is alive or dead. The Irkens on Earth may be the only surviving ones left.

Rage: Hmm... a very bad predicament for your kind. I may be able to provide help. Please, feel free to spend the night here.

Zim and Tak: Thank you.

Rage: Luna, show them to their rooms.

Luna got up from where she was looking at the pictures on the wall and led them out the door. Rage fixed her purple eyes onto Dib.

Rage: So, Dib, your decision.

Dib: Wait. How does someone become an immortal?

Rage: Well, there's two ways, _Lugajun_ and _allugajun_. _Lugajun_ is where you're born to at least one immortal parent. _Allugajun_ is where you spend all of your time in the company of at least one immortal until the gods feel it's time for you to _hisivig._ When you _hisivig,_ you transform into an immortal.

Dib: What type of immortal are you?

Rage: I am a vampfiress, a creature that is has both vampiristic and draconic traits. Do not call a male a vampfiress, for that is the word for a female vampfire.

Dib: One more question. Could you really help the Irkens?

Rage: Our numbers are small, but our strength is large. Just 300 of us could take down the entire United States military.

Dib: I'll make a deal. If you help the Irkens, then I'll join you.

Rage: Come a little closer, and we'll seal the deal.

Dib approached her. She pulled out two sharp needles. She pricked her finger with one, and Dib's finger with the other. She pressed the bleeding fingers to a piece of paper, and Dib mimicked her.

Rage: Deal.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Purple moaned. He was sore in places he'd never been sore before, and he had a planet-sized headache.

Other then that, he could feel or see nothing.

He could, however, hear a faint hissing noise that seemed in time with his breathing. He immediately put a hand to his face and felt a mask that covered his entire face. It felt wet. He felt a slight tugging on his arms. He brushed his claws over them and found wires and tubing. He felt around his body and found various tubes in his mouth and rear. He realized with dread what he was in. He and Red had approved the design themselves.

He was in an isolation tank designed for transport of prisoners.

He was a _prisoner._

But who? Who would even think of taking one of the Almighty Tallest prisoner? Whoever did would have the entire Irken military on their tails, ready to vaporize them so badly, even the molecules that they were made of would be split apart into atoms. Then he remembered seeing the ones who had captured him. They didn't seem to want to kill anyone, just take them prisoner. Then they were most likely slavers then, that hadn't heard of the Irken race before. Maybe they were from an undiscovered galaxy... and if they were, they'd probably be taking him there. He started to panic. The wires on his arms sensed this, sent the information through to a computer, which sent a sedative through one of the tubes on his arms that knocked him out.

When he woke up, the wires, mask, and tubes were gone, and he was in some sort of cell. There was something tight around his neck. He felt it. It was a metal collar with a loop that had metal tags hanging from it. He couldn't see what they said. Suddenly, the door to the cell swung open, and two of his captors burst in and grabbed him by the arms. He was dragged into a room bare of all furnishings where a female was sitting cross-legged in the center. She had steel gray eyes and her skin was redder then the ones who had taken him in. She wore steel armor.

Captor: Pearl, we have brought you the Tallest, as you have requested.

Pearl: Good. Leave us.

They left, and she stood up. She was shorter then the others, only about nine feet. She looked Purple over.

Pearl: You're perfect.

She caught his gaze and his shoulder. He could not break free. He started to shiver.

Pearl: Now, follow my lead. I wouldn't want you getting hurt...

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Red lay on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. _That Lucian kid seemed nice,_ he thought. They had found out that Lucian's mother had been abducted by a sick, perverted Irken named Seab while she was walking home from a party that she wasn't supposed to go to because she had been grounded. Seab had liked to preform experiments on females of random species involving the reproductive organs. To make a long story short, Lucian had been implanted in his mother's womb. Lucian eventually left because it was after midnight, and he should have been asleep.

Suddenly, a sharp pain flared through his legs. He sat up and saw that Gir had sat on them and was holding the remote control. Before he could say anything, the dysfunctional SIR turned on the television and started to flip through the channels. He stopped on a show that showed humans doing very stupid things. Red watched as the human on the screen sneaked a lighter into his jail cell, then proceeded to light his prison uniform on fire. He couldn't help himself, he laughed along with Gir.

Gir: I love this show...

The next human to be shown was an obese female. She was videotaping herself singing in her bedroom. She must have decided she needed a better stage, because she climbed up on the flimsy coffee table. It barely supported her weight. She started to dance and the table gave way, and she landed on her behind. MiMi entered the room as they started laughing. She watched the next clip from the doorway and didn't get what was so amusing about a man trying to balance a rope and falling so that it ended up between his legs.

The commercials went on and Red's legs started to fall asleep. He reached for Gir.

Guy on commercial: Alright, the commercials are on so you're probably already halfway to the john. THAT MEANS I CAN STEAL YOUR APPLESAUCE! HAHAHAHAHA!

Gir: Oh noes! The T.V. Person wants my applesauce!

Gir jumped off of Red's legs and ran into the kitchen, knocking over MiMi, jarring a few of her circuits loose. Red decided to follow him so he didn't knock anything else over. He watched as the robot grabbed a jar of applesauce, a loaf of french bread, and a packet of hot cocoa mix, then ran back to the couch. He ripped open the packet and dumped it in the applesauce, then ripped off a chunk of bread and dipped it in the apple-chocolatey goodness and shoved it in his mouth. Red joined him on the couch as the program came back on and showed a man trying to break dance on a treadmill and ended up busting more then a move. Both he and Gir howled with laughter, as MiMi sat silently on the floor, staring at the wall.

When the program ended, Gir switched to the Weather Channel. He stared at it, transfixed by the swirling patterns on the maps. Red got bored in the first few minutes and fell asleep. MiMi got up and sat on the floor in front of Gir, and said the first words she'd ever said.

MiMi: Oh, look, the colors are so pretty...

(YAY! I'm done with this chapter! Special thanks to ngrey651 for reviewing! Oh and yes, I am aware of how much Luna resembles Angel from the Maximum Ride series. Ahh... makes me wanna go get the manga rendering now.)

Dib: Holy shit! I just realized something!

(What? The sky is blue?)

Dib: Batty had her head in my lap!

(So? That's a perfectly acceptable thing to do if you're a wolf.)

Dib: Awww...

(R+R or this random person gets it!)

Random person: DO IT! SHE'S CRAZY!


	6. Viscera

(Hmm... I was disappointed with the last chapter... oh well. That's probably why I haven't updated in a million years, and I had little time (until school let out). If online fan fictions could collect dust, I'm sure there would be a layer of it on this thing. Also, I will no longer be using script format. The reason why I was using script format is because I started to read fan fictions on a smaller fan site. There was a whole section of humorous one-shots that were mostly in script format. I read them all (I had a lot of time to kill) . So, this being my first fan fiction, I went with the format that was most familiar to me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, nor Arm & Hammer

Trust me, you don't wanna know what I do to flames.

Remember, one man's teen is another man's mature. Please inform me if you feel the rating is too low.)

Chapter six: Viscera

Dib awoke to find a warm thing asleep with him. He reached down to feel it, and it strangely felt furry and feathery at the same time. He pulled the covers back and saw... a griffin that was about the same size as a large house cat. It woke up and flicked its lion-like tail, as if to say, _Hey, could you pull the covers back up?_ He slipped out of the bed and did so. He then decided to find Zim_._ He didn't need to go too far because the said alien burst into the the room.

"Zim!" he shouted. "I was just going to look for you."

"Dib," Zim somberly replied, "Someone who shouldn't know about us does."

"Who?"

"Nobody."

"Zim, I'm not Polyphemus. Seriously, who is it?"

"Dib-human, I was trying to scare you. And who is this Polyphemus?"

"Polyphemus was a gigantic human with one eye, which are called cyclopes," Dib started to explain, "from a myth. He lived in a cave on an island and had a flock of sheep, and when he was out herding them, a bunch of men returning home from a war landed on the island and entered his cave. When he returned home with his sheep, he found them and blocked the entrance with a giant boulder, and crushed and ate two of them for dinner. The next morning, he ate two for breakfast and left to herd his sheep.

"That night, when he came home, he killed two more men, and the leader of the men, Odysseus, gave him very strong wine. The wine made Polyphemus very drunk and unwary. He asked for Odysseus' name and he replied, "Nobody". Because he was drunk, he thought it was a real name. Once he passed out, the men took his club, which they had sharpened while he was away, and shoved it into his eye, blinding him. He shouted to other cyclopes that "Nobody" hurt him, which they took to mean he was being punished by the gods and didn't dare help.

"The next morning, the men tied themselves to the bellies of the sheep. Polyphemus patted the tops of the sheep to make sure they weren't riding out. He didn't notice they were gone until all the sheep left and the men escaped."

As soon as Dib stopped talking, Tak walked in. "Hey Dib." she said.

"Hey Tak."

"Why exactly did you choose us over all your other options?"

"Because this one stank the least."

"That's it?"

"That's it. By the way, where's Gaz?"

"She went home, Dib." Zim answered.

"Why? It's not like _he_ would notice."

"She was trying to get Tak's ship."

Suddenly, a bunch of howling erupted from the hallway. The griffin went _mrrp_ and left the room, and the trio followed. The hallway was filled with wolves, a vampfiress with silver wings, red hair, green eyes, and a black t-shirt and jeans with a large hole torn over her knee, and a teenage boy, probably a vampire, with black hair spiked so that there were twelve liberty spikes. He wore designer t-shirt and jeans. He was caught in the jaws of a black wolf. Other immortals rushed in and bound him quickly. The vampfiress leaned down so that she was right in his face and shouted "ARM & HAMMER!"

He sneered back. "Are you dense? Are you retarded?" He asked.

"Are you the goddamn Batman?"

"No, I'm Armand Hammer. It's not pronounced like 'arm and', it's pronounced 'are mand' like in 'Armando'"

"Whatever. Let's go show Mom what we found slinking around OUR territory."

As soon as they left, Dib whispered, "Mom?"

"She must be Rage's oldest, Artemis." Zim whispered back.

"Oldest?"

"We only need two Earth hours of sleep, Dib. Tak and I were awake long before you were, and talking to the Immortals. We already figured out a plan to introduce them to the others."

"So, what did you learn that I should probably know?"

"Stuff that you will probably be told later. Let's go see what happens."

They went down the same hall that the wolves had gone down and came to the throne room. There, they found Armand on his knees, at the mercy of the griffin, who had latched onto his ear with his beak. He shook his head madly, trying to shake it off, but only making it worse. His ear started to bleed. Rage entered, followed by Luna. Someone shouted "Ay!" and the griffin left, but not before ripping off part of Armand's ear. He screamed loudly. "Ah, if it isn't the Prince of Scum!" Rage spat. "I don't see why you ooze on our territory while you have your own to befoul!"

"I come with a message from 'scum'." he replied.

"Oh? And what is that message?"

"My brothers are banished. All of our neighbors refuse to let them onto their land. Your land is the only land for them to go to. Will you permit this, or should we kill them?"

"Lawrence? And Dylan? What did they do?"

"They killed Krystal."

"Ah. She was asking for it."

"Yeah, I agree, she was a bitch, but she was _his_ bitch. She was fat, she was ugly, she was the biggest blabbermouth EVER, and she was MORTAL! Of all of the females he could have chosen, it had to be HER!" He cleared his throat. "So, anyway, do you accept that they will be living on your territory until me and my father are dead?"

"Yes."

"Good. Expect them today."

A few Immortals moved in and unbound him. He turned to go. "Armand, one more thing." Luna spoke as though she was reminding him of something. He stopped walking and turned to look at her. "What?" he groaned. She walked over to him and threw a plastic ring at his head and it settled over one of the spikes. "RING TOSS!" She threw more and he ran out of the room. She gave chase and so did most of the others in the room. The wolf that held Armand earlier ran over to Dib and laid down, and he felt an impulse to climb onto its back. He did so and the wolf bounded out of the room, with the boy clinging to its fur.

They bounded up a spiraling hallway with no doors. There was shrubbery at the end of the tunnel and they went right through it into a forest. The sun was just about to crawl over the horizon, but it was still too dim for Dib to see. The forest thinned out and there was a wooden fence, and the wolf climbed up a bunch of trash that was piled so that it was like a stairway into a playground. The Immortals were there, surrounding Armand. He found and opening and ran out into the street.

Right as a eighteen wheeler ran by and hit him at full speed. The driver was instantly knocked out, but Armand got up and took off. The Immortals continued the chase down the road, and past the Skool. They raced past buildings, cars, trees; and skidded around corners until they reached a street that was painfully familiar. Dib watched the house he grew up in whoosh by. The garage was open, and the tarp-covered spaceship wasn't there. Gaz had done her job. He had also, however, seen a silhouette of his sister in the window – just barely. She must have returned home after she delivered the ship. Suddenly, she was at his side. Her feet were a blur. "You didn't ask Zim and Tak if they wanted to come?" she asked. He looked down at the wolf beneath him. "He didn't give me enough time." He glanced at his sister. "It is a he, right?"

"He's our uncle."

"He's a _werewolf?_"

"_Lycan_ is the correct term."

Dib opened his mouth to say something, but it was instantly snapped shut as they rounded the corner... into the apartment complex. Some Immortals blocked off the exit, but Armand wasn't interested in escaping. He was more interested about the strange green house. Gaz whispered something into Darius' ear and he charged towards Armand and jumped, aiming his jaws at the vampire's neck. He knocked the wolf away, causing Dib to fall off. He engaged his spider limbs and tried to get away, but Armand grabbed his actual leg and held him off the ground. "Well, that sure is interesting," he murmured.

"Oh, um... I... uh... made it myself." He didn't want Armand to know the Irkens had given his PAK to him.

"You mean it's a wig?" He yanked on his hair, hard, and Dib screamed. "Wait a minute, you thought I was talking about that spider leg thing, didn't you? Of course, you're mortal, so I'd expect you to not understand. Now, what do you use for your hair?"

"Oh, like your hair isn't weird enough!" Artemis tackled him from behind and pulled him over, releasing Dib from his grasp. "Run!"

He skittered off down the street, following a route that was very familiar, because he took it almost everyday. Soon the school came into view. He sat on the edge of the fountain and splashed some water over his face.

Harru_, Dib, _a voice that sounded like a howling dog rang inside his head. He jumped in surprise and accidentally fell into the fountain. He climbed back out a saw a woman with long black hair that went all the way to the ground. Her skin was pale, almost translucent, and she wore a long black cloak that covered her entire body except for her head. She was floating at least a foot off of the ground, and she smelled slightly like formaldehyde. She opened her eyes, and they were pure black.

_I am Viscera the Skinless, goddess of fear, _the howling voice rang again. He could only see her, which he felt was terrifying. The stink of formaldehyde was overpowering. _I know that you're destined to become an Immortal. I choose to meet ones like you because I was once mortal too. I was quite beautiful, too, until the ugliest girl in the world killed me, and took __everything off of my body except for my organs – and wore the skin over her ugliness. She gave the rest to the vultures that were her only friends. The gods felt sorry for me and resurrected me as a goddess, without what was torn away except for my head. But, I still have a score to settle. That's where you come in. _His glasses started to fog up from his sweat evaporating, but he didn't notice._ All living things have at least some physical weaknesses. It's impossible to find one without, except for the Ultimate, the one who created this universe. Your biggest physical weakness is your eyesight. Your agility is amazing for someone your age, but without your glasses, you would be almost blind. One of your other physical weaknesses is your extremely large head, but it amuses me. If only I could poke it without scaring you even more then you are now... _Dib couldn't take it any longer. In his mind he yelled,_ What does my head have to do with settling a score?_ Viscera blinked in surprise, then pressed on._ The girl who killed me had a son, who fathered a boy and a girl. Her descendents are still around today. If one of them dies by your hand, then I'll see to it that your eyesight is fixed. Now if you excuse me, I have another mortal to greet. Until we meet again, Dib._ She slowly disappeared.

Dib's glasses started to defog, and the schoolyard came back into view. His scythe of hair had drooped over his forehead, and he watched a bead of sweat drip down it. His shirt was completely saturated.

"Dib?"

He looked up and saw Keef. "Keef? What are you doing here? It's Sunday, and it would be way too early to go to school."

"I wanted to play on the school playground."

"Isn't it a little early for that?"

"Isn't it a little early to swim in the fountain?"

"I wasn't swimming in the fountain, I fell in. Somebody scared me."

"Who?"

"I don't know."

"Hey, isn't that Zim's dog?"

Dib looked at where he was pointing, and sure enough, Gir was moseying down the street. He stopped in front of the school and ran up to Dib. "What are you doing here, Gir?"

"Meoww."

"Whatever. I'll just take you back to your house."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"So... Earth, huh? You think it would be worth it?" the large male inquired. They were in a bar at a hotel. It was very crowded, and about half the patrons were wasted. Most of the ones who were sober were shady-looking and would pierce anyone who made eye contact with a glare. The barkeep handed him a drink. It was a very light brown and smelled like blood. There was a cloaked person who was eerily silent and abnormally short to his right, and a very chatty man to his left. The chatty man was his employee, and thankfully not drunk.

"So, anyway, I heard there was this Irken, his name was Zip or something, used to be an Invader – probably one of the shortest." He took a sip of his drink and pressed on. "Blew up all the other Invaders during Impending Doom I. The Irken leaders got pissed and banished him to that planet with all the food... what was it called..."

"Foodcourtia?" offered the cloaked man.

"Yeah, Foodcourtia! Anyway, when what's-his-face learned about Impending Doom II, he went to the assigning thingamajig, and his leaders sent him to Earth. It was supposed to be a second banishment, only he thought it was an actual mission."

"So...you think maybe he's still there?" the large man asked. His tentacles writhed with excitement. Even a small Irken like "Zip" would bring in 1,000 trozots. Minus 245 for fuel and supplies, and that would give him 755. That alone wasn't anything to sneeze at.

"Of course he's still there." the cloaked man growled. "Why wouldn't he be? He probably thinks nothing happened." He got up and left, leaving five trozots behind, and down the hall.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Pearl looked up from her book as Purple entered the room. He removed his hood. "So? Did you get anything good?"

"Planet Earth."

"Where's that?"

He told her the story of Zim. When he was done, she gave him a _seriously? _look and said, "That's a pretty flawed plan. I would have said 'no' and sent his sorry little ass back to Foodcourtia."

"Still, it may have caused us some luck. Most of the Invaders in Impending Doom II know who Zim is. Actually, most of the Irken race knows."

"And so...?"

"Uhh..." he scratched his head. "Somebody might have thought Earth was a good place to hide?"

"So you're thinking that we should look there?"

"Yeah. And if there's a free population there, we should do our best to protect them, even if it's just Zim and his SIR unit."

"Call our crew. Our ship takes off in the morning."

(Please r+r. To tell you guys the truth, I'm a little nervous about this update. I don't fare well against rejection, and if people hate what I do, it makes me sad. So, please, be gentle. Seriously, I can barely make the cursor move to click the save button.)


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